


let us break your fall

by deepestfathoms



Category: Six - Marlow/Moss
Genre: ADD!Maggie, Destructive stimming, Hurt/Comfort, Jane is a mom friend to everyone, Jane is pretty soft for Maggie ngl, Maggie is just a little ADD baby....she cannot change that......, Maria Is Worried, Multi, Self Harm, add, everyone is worried, meltdowns
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-05
Updated: 2019-09-05
Packaged: 2020-10-10 08:03:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,829
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20524691
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deepestfathoms/pseuds/deepestfathoms
Summary: The other ladies in waiting aren’t there when Maggie needs them. However, there are the queens. Unfortunately, they don’t know a thing about ADD meltdowns, but they’re doing their best.





	let us break your fall

It started with a pinch in Maggie’s chest. A twinge, a jab, a small pang that prodded her lungs, but didn’t make her think much of it. She should have known, though. She should have known her body was out to get her when she was at her most vulnerable state.

  
Maria, Joan, and Bessie were all away on some kind of business trip. Maggie was too young to go, so she stayed home. At first, it was fine, but the loneliness started to get to her after the fifth day, and they were still gonna be gone for another week.

  
She managed to hold herself together until the eighth day.

  
The backup band that went on to play didn’t exactly click with Maggie. They wouldn’t dance with her during some of the songs and they just overall lacked the energy the other ladies in waiting had. What made it worse, Maggie was sure they hated her for some reason. She always saw them giving her looks out of the corner of her eye. She was way too shy to address them on this, so she just tried to ignore it.

  
What she couldn’t ignore, however, was the pain in her chest.

  
Maggie wobbled into her dressing room to get changed out of her sweat-soaked costume. Her lungs were starting to burn, and the roiling of her stomach meant this wasn’t an anxiety attack. She was about to have a full blown meltdown, and she didn’t even know why.

  
She barely found the strength to get changed into more comfortable clothes before she retreated to a corner to try and ride out the breakdown. Curling up into a ball, Maggie hugged her knees tightly and tried to follow the breathing techniques Maria had been practicing with her. They work for a moment, but then the pinch in her lungs grew sharper and she whipped her head back against the wall, starting a whole chain of reactions.

  
Her legs uncurled and she slammed them into the floor. Once, twice, three times- she kicked and flailed and pounded her heels into the ground but it wouldn’t anchor her. She continued to slip and frenzy, and it wouldn’t be long until she lost herself completely.

  
_Breathe! Breathe, you idiot!_

  
But she couldn’t, she couldn’t, _she couldn’t-_

  
Maggie squirmed hard. She wanted to wriggle right out of her skin, which felt like it had been dunked in acid. The flesh on her frail, quaking body tightens around her, restricting breathing even more.

  
She felt so helpless. She didn’t know what to do.

  
Well-

  
No.

  
No, she couldn’t. She hadn’t done it in two months. That’s the best she’s ever gotten. She promised Bessie she would stop, but-

  
_She had to._

  
Maggie bites down hard on her wrist and the pain sends a morbid, euphoric rush through her. She shudders a little and sunk her teeth in more and more and more until the skin broke open and blood filled her mouth.

  
Even then, she didn’t stop.

  
It felt…good. Better than good.

  
It felt _amazing_.

  
A part of her messed up brain was screaming, though. She shouldn’t be doing this. She promised Bessie she would stop stimming like this.

  
Could it even be considered stimming at this point, though? She didn’t like to think of it as self harm, but…

  
The door to the dressing room suddenly opened and Jane walked in. The queen froze in her tracks, eyes going wide at the sight that was set before her. Then, motherly instincts took over and she lunges forward, causing Maggie to huddle further into the corner.

  
“Oh, Maggie,” Jane murmured, eyeing the girl’s bleeding hand pitifully. “Love, you have to let go.”

  
Surprisingly, Maggie listens, but only because she couldn’t talk while biting.

  
“Wh-where’s Bessie?” The young musician croaked.

  
Jane frowned at that.

  
“She’s still out of London, love. On the trip.”

  
“Maria?”

  
Jane shook her head.

  
“J-Joan?”

  
“None of them are back yet, love.”

  
All the color leaches from Maggie’s face. She had been praying they would have somehow shown up, but that was just wishful thinking.

  
She truly was alone.

  
Maggie sobbed audibly and curled in on herself, rocking slightly as her meltdown worsens. Through her blurring vision, she notices the other queens peek in and a few actually step inside.

  
“I-I can’t- They’ve never been-” Maggie tried to speak but it was so hard through her heaving breaths, “Th-they’ve always b-been here. I-I can’t- not..alone-”

  
“You’re not alone, love.” Jane said, “We’re all here for you.”

  
Maggie glanced at her and her warm smile and then turned away. She bit back down on her hand, despite Jane trying to get her to stop.

  
She didn’t want Jane. She didn’t want any of them. She wanted Bessie and Maria and Joan.

  
She wanted her _real_ family.

  
“I’m going to call Maria!” She heard a voice announce and realized it was Aragon. Maggie wanted to protest, but she didn’t want to stop biting again. Without her family, the pain was the only thing she could really trust.

  
Jane can only watch in horror as Maggie rocks back and forth in the corner as blood spills down her hand. Parr and Anne come down to try and help, but the guitarist won’t respond to them, not even Anne.

  
“She needs her bandmates and they won’t pick up,” Parr said. “Jane, be the role of Bessie.”

  
“What?” Jane snapped her head around to look at the sixth queen.

  
“You’re the most motherly out of all of us,” Parr continued, “Bessie would be the one coaxing her out of this. You have to take on that role before she ends up hurting herself further.”

  
Jane nodded, understanding what she had to do.

  
She turned back to Maggie, who, over the span of only a few seconds, looked even worse. She keeps grinding her skull into the wall, which probably wasn’t helping her at all, so Jane acts quickly.

  
“Maggie? Margaret. Margaret, love, it’s okay.”

  
Nothing. Maggie doesn’t even look in her direction.

  
“Margaret? Really?” Anne commented, “Try using something she’s actually called.”

  
Jane wanted to snap at the green queen, but she was probably right.

  
“Maggie…love…darling?”

  
Maggie’s eyes flick over for a split second.

  
“Darling,” Jane said again, “Darling, it’s okay. Can you hear me? Nod to me if you can hear me.”

  
A few seconds passed, but then Maggie’s head bobbed a little. Jane smiled slightly, inching closer.

  
“Good, good. That’s very good, darling.”  
Maggie shut her eyes. Through the roaring in her ears, it sounded like Bessie talking to her. The presence she felt around her wasn’t as strong or protective as Bessie’s, but the voice was good enough.

  
“Darling, can you let go of your hand for me?”

  
Maggie ignores her and Jane sees Parr shaking her head.

  
“She’s not ready yet,” Parr whispered, “Work on breathing. She isn’t getting enough air.”

  
Jane nodded and turned her attention back to the guitarist.

  
“Alright, darling, can you try breathing with me instead? You need to breathe.”

  
Maggie opened her eyes slightly and took in a shuddering breath, but it wasn’t enough. She curled up further, coughing as her chest constricted in resistance.

  
“B-Bessie…!” She sobbed, desperate for her maternal figure’s comfort.

  
Jane moved a little closer and set a tentative hand on Maggie’s head. Then, she started to glide her fingers through her hair, hoping it would soothe her the same way it soothed Katherine.

  
But Maggie wasn’t Katherine. Katherine was never like this. Katherine never bit herself like a wild animal. This was a whole new experience Jane didn’t train herself for.

  
However, she felt Maggie tilt her head a little to press into her touch. Jane smiled slightly and continued to stroke the girl’s hair.

  
“Do you like this, darling?” She whispered, knowing to keep her voice low when she was this close. She smiled a little more when Maggie nodded. “Then I’ll keep doing it if you breathe with me. Sound fair?” Another nod. “Alright, here we go.”

  
Aragon steps back into the room, a worried look on her face. Cleves sidles over to her, looking equally as concerned.

  
“Well?”

  
“None of them would pick up.” The Spanish queen said, “How is she?”

  
“A little better.” Cleves looked back at Maggie, who was attempting to follow along with Jane’s breathe. “She’s…struggling. This is bad.”

  
Aragon silently nodded in agreement.

  
“Jane’s doing good, though. Pretending to be Bessie.”

  
It was true. Maggie was starting to look slightly less dead as she got more air into her lungs.

  
However, it seemed as if the whole world was out to get her, as Aragon’s phone suddenly went off. Loudly.

  
That was the final straw.

  
Maggie _screamed_. She kicked her legs out in some sort of self defense mechanism, nailing Anne in the stomach and causing the green queen to reel away on her hands and knees, before biting down even harder and using her other hand to pull her hair. Her breathing was audible, coming out in heavy, raspy gasps that sounded painful just to hear. Parr and Jane could only watch in horror as she frenzied out of control.

  
Just behind them, Aragon is scrambling to pull her phone out of her pocket while Cleves barked at her to hurry up.

  
“Maria!” Aragon shouted, making Maggie wail again. Cleves couldn’t stop herself from kicking the first queen in the shin and then pushing her out the door.  
“Maria,” She said, softer this time, wincing.

  
“Catherine? Who-”

  
“It’s Maggie. Maggie’s having a meltdown.”

  
Maria is silent for a moment.

  
“Catherine, that doesn’t sound good at all. I can hear her crying. What did you people do to her?!”

  
“Nothing! We’re trying to help her, she just won’t let us!”

  
“You’re probably coming off too forceful,” Maria snapped, “Who’s helping her right now?”

  
“Jane.”

  
“Okay, there’s one good thing,” Maria sighed, “Alright, listen. Maggie responds really well to music. Try singing to her.”  
“Singing to her?”

  
“No, building her a barn and hoping the isolation will fix her mental state- Yes singing to her! That’s what I just fucking said, Catalina!”

  
Aragon winced and pulled her phone away from her ear slightly.

  
“Alright,” She said.

  
Meanwhile, Maggie has went completely unresponsive. It was almost like the first panic attack Katherine ever had, but with more hair pulling and biting. The amount of blood flowing out of her hand was as worrying as the fact that her lips were starting to go blue.

  
“Maggie, darling, I know you’re scared right now, but you need to breathe.” Jane said, keeping her voice level. “Try it with me. Ready? In and out.”

  
Maggie’s eyes opened a little and she watched Jane, but she wasn’t following along. She couldn’t. Her anxiety has taken over her brain and she couldn’t do anything except hurt herself.

  
“Maggie, please, darling.” Jane said. “You need to breathe.”

  
“C-can’t…” Maggie somehow manages to force out. “H-hurts… B-Bess…”

  
She suddenly teetered forward and collapsed into Jane’s lap. Her hand was no longer in her mouth, but it was still bleeding and she still wasn’t breathing properly.

  
“Maggie,” Jane said, slightly more panicked. She flips Maggie over and cradles her carefully, “Darling, please. You have to breathe.”

  
Maggie mumbled something incomprehensible. Then, she whimpered out Bessie’s name again, praying to any god out there that she would appear and save her from this pain.

  
Bessie, Jane said in her head. She racked her brain over things she’s seen Bessie do with Maggie, eventually coming to something she hoped might work. Gently, Jane pressed Maggie’s head to her chest so she could listen to her heartbeat. She held her there for a moment, still whispering breathing techniques that she was sure weren’t working. Then, she saw Aragon come in and mouth something to her.

  
“Sing.”

  
Jane wanted to slap herself. How could she have not thought of that?

  
_ “You’ve got a good heart,_  
But I know it changes.  
A restless tide, untamable.”

  
Maggie’s eyes flicked up instantly, which made relief flow through Jane’s veins. That was a good sign, so she continued.

  
_ “You came my way, and I knew a storm could come too.  
You’d lift me high, or let me fall.”_

  
Maggie nestled her head closer to Jane’s chest and, slowly but surely, began to match her breathing. She closed her eyes, letting the soft words being sung lull her into calmness.

  
_ “But I took your hand, promised I’d withstand_  
Any blaze you blew my way.  
‘Cause something inside, it solidified,  
And I knew I’d always stay.”

  
Jane wrapped both of her arms around Maggie and rocked her gently. She rubbed her back as she sang, then noticed Parr get up and run to dim the lights. Maggie let out a soft sigh of contentment and Jane wanted to slap herself once again. She should have taken sensory overloads into account for the poor girl’s panic.

  
_ “You can build me up, you can tear me down,_  
You can try but I’m unbreakable.  
You can do your best, but I’ll stand the test.  
You’ll find that I’m unshakeable.”

  
Slowly, the burning in Maggie’s lungs ebbed away. She was still shaking very badly, but at least her eyes looked a little better.

  
_ “When the fire’s burnt,_  
When the wind has blown,  
When the water’s dried, you’ll still find stone.  
My heart of stone.”

  
Jane quieted and looked down at Maggie, who was curled snugly up in her arms. She kissed the top of her head and smiled warmly.

  
“You did it, darling,” She murmured. “I’m so proud of you.”

  
From the doorway, Aragon let out a sigh of relief.

  
“Jane calmed her down.” She said into her phone, as Maria was still on the line.

  
“Oh thank god,” Maria said, “Can I talk to her?”

  
“Of course.”

  
Aragon slowly walked over and handed her phone to Maggie, who eyed her wryly before taking it.

  
“Hey, kid.”

  
Maggie visibly brightened upon hearing Maria’s voice. It made everyone smile.

  
“Maria,” She said. Her voice was very weak and hoarse from crying, but she couldn’t care right now. “I miss you.”  
Maria chuckled lightly.

  
“I miss you, too. How are you doing?”

  
Maggie shrugged, but realized she couldn’t use that as an answer since Maria couldn’t see her.

  
“About to start dissociating. So. Numb? I feel numb…but Lady Jane helped me. She’s really bad at impersonating Bessie, though.”

  
Jane snorted and that made Maggie giggle a little. She snuggled closer.

  
“I could have guessed.” Maria laughed. Then, her voice hardened. “Maggie, you know I have to ask you this, right?”

  
Maggie goes rigid.

  
“Did you bite yourself?”

  
Silence.

  
Maggie hangs up the phone.

  
Deep shame and guilt filled her stomach. She knew this was going to happen, and yet…

  
God, how could she be so stupid? How could she betray Bessie’s trust like this?

  
“Shh, shh,” Jane cooed when she noticed the girl in her arms was starting to cry again, “It’s okay, darling, it’s okay.”

  
“N-no.” Maggie whimpered, “No, it’s not okay. M-my hand- I promised Bessie I wouldn’t-”

  
She buried her face back into Jane’s chest, weak sobs shaking her body. Pain was thrumming in her hand, but it’s just what she deserved for being such an idiot.

  
Over her hiccups, she hears a click and lifts her head slightly. Parr has a first aid kit, which she had apparently retrieved at one point. The sixth queen picked up a gauze and soaked it in antiseptic before looking at Maggie for permission. The girl nodded.

  
“This might hurt,” Parr warns.

  
As soon as it makes contact with Maggie’s broken skin, Maggie lets out a high pitched squeak, her unoccupied hand curling into and grasping at Jane’s shirt as she digs her head into the queen’s chest. If this hurts Jane, she doesn’t show it, just holds Maggie closer and places another kiss on the top of her head.

  
“Almost done, kiddo,” Parr reassures in a voice Jane silently knows is usually reserved for comforting Katherine. Parr wraps a stark white bandage around the wound and quickly tapes it off.

  
Maggie takes her arms back, holding it close to her chest. She stared at the wall for a long time.

  
“Sorry.” She whispered hoarsely.

  
“You don’t need to be sorry,” Anne jumped back in. She seemed to have recovered from being kicked in the stomach. “You can’t help getting overwhelmed. You dealt with it until you couldn’t anymore. We understand.”

  
Maggie stared at her for a moment before nodding.

  
“I just…wish I hadn’t…” She can’t form the words together. She might start crying all over again if she kept thinking about her broken promise to Bessie. “Thank you. Everyone. Really…”

  
Jane squeezes her reassuringly.

  
“We’re always here for you, Maggie. No matter what. Never be afraid to ask for help.”

  
Even though it wouldn’t be that easy, Maggie appreciated it. Although she much preferred her family, she would definitely keep that in mind.


End file.
